how could I..???

                                                   
                                               It was a road to NOWHERE
                                               still
                                               we began...
                                               and went on
                                               holding hands of one another
                                               with some false hopes
                                               deep in the heart
                                               until a turn is reached
                                               with some new promising vibes
                                               YOU moved on...
                                               but HOW COULD I..???

                                               I looked into your eyes
                                               imploringly,
                                               they rebuffed me
                                               silently,
                                               I was left alone then
                                               YOU called it off
                                               but HOW COULD I..???

                                               How live moments those were
                                               when we were together
                                               you always used to give me a reason
                                               to live,
                                               and I used to crave for the same,
                                               I vividly  remember all that
                                               perhaps YOU forgot
                                               but HOW COULD I..???

                                               All the premonitions started
                                               turning into celebrations,
                                               I myself never thought of repercussions,
                                               I vouched for you
                                               somewhere YOU proved me wrong,
                                               but HOW COULD I..???

                                                A wave of solitude
                                               swept over me,
                                               I just stood still
                                               kept on waiting for a glimpse;
                                               by the passage of time
                                               I was startled to find you
                                               beside me,
                                               you said not to be bothered about that..
                                               YOU did,
                                               but HOW COULD I..???

whenever...!!!

                                                          whenever I climb,
                                                          I  slip down
                                                          but the thing keeps inspiring me
                                                          to  carry on
                                                          is your LOVE
                                                          which is all around;
                                          
                                                      *          *            *                *
            
                                                          whenever I am in need
                                                          I feel so lonely
                                                          but the thing makes me fulfilled
                                                          is your tender care
                                                          so closely;
                                                      *          *            *                *

                                                          whenever I feel blue
                                                          I get helpless for a while
                                                          but the thing makes me blissful
                                                          is your touch
                                                          with your smile;
                                    
                                                       *         *            *            *

                                                         whenever I feel lagging
                                                         I feel low always
                                                         but the thing makes me leading                
                                                         is your saying
                                                         like a sage;

                                                       *          *            *                *
                                            
                                                         whenever I walk alone
                                                         I feel so incomplete
                                                         inside of me
                                                         but the thing makes me complete
                                                         is your invisible shadow
                                                         stands beside me...

an INSIGHT..!!!

 

                                                           My sleepless eyes
                                                           with a calm night
                                                           A cheerful cause
                                                           with my eternal plight
                                                           A musical dawn
                                                           with my jinxed twilight
                                                           A pondering dark
                                                           with my fainting light
                                                           A dying hope
                                                           with my unknown fright
                                                           Some hurtful memories
                                                           with my endless flight
                                                            A vouch for an illusion
                                                           with my diminishing
                                                           worldly appetite
                                                           A perpetual reluctance
                                                           with my false delight
                                                           Nothing I possess
                                                           but a stoic SOUL to ignite...

 

                                                         

that MOMENT..!!!

                                                  Sky grew darker
                                                  winds began to blow harder
                                                  I still didn't have any clue
                                                  It was like bolt from the blue
                                                  Meanwhile she appeared
                                                  almost like a miracle  
                                                  Wish I could hold that MOMENT..
                                                  All I could just mumbled
                                                  was.....
                                                  It was a flawless creature
                                                  and a content face
                                                  with a lightening grace
                                                  hairs like ebony
                                                  breaths were producing a symphony
                                                  smile, like
                                                  anyone wants to die for
                                                  Literally I was frozen
                                                  She wore a smile
                                                  and asked me
                                                  Do you know what love is..??
                                                  I just could say
                                                  " It's a beginning that never ends".
                                                  She asked me again
                                                  Do you love me..??
                                                  I said,
                                                  " I don't know how much is too much".
                                                  She said,
                                                  I can't be yours ever
                                                  I said,
                                                  "I can wait beyond this 'EVER'"
                                                 She said,
                                                 you have got insane.
                                                 I said,
                                                 " who cares about sanity without you"
                                                 SUDDENLY..
                                                 I felt jerked
                                                 woke up and found
                                                 there was NO ONE..
                                                 no cool breeze
                                                 no fleecy clouds
                                                 no chirping of birds
                                                 no dark sky
                                                 they say
                                                 It was merely a DREAM
                                                 I do agree somewhere
                                                 cause every relationship has its own fate
                                                 perhaps mine is it..!!!

I wish...

                                                      I wish YOU were here

                                                      When

                                                      No one was beside me

                                                      was fooled around by destiny

                                                      heart was on the verge of a mutiny 

                                                      I wish YOU were here

                                                      When

                                                       All the fingers were raising

                                                       My lonely shelter was blazing

                                                       nothing was visible for a virtual hazing

                                                       I wish YOU were here

                                                       When

                                                       I had to go a mile

                                                       All  efforts got futile

                                                       I wore a momentary smile

                                                       I wish YOU were here

                                                       When

                                                       I vowed to carry it on

                                                       was indifferent to dusk or dawn

                                                       all the closed ones were gone

                                                       I wish YOU were here

                                                       When

                                                       I was  somewhere left behind

                                                       only you were on my mind

                                                       all bonds got redefined

                                                       I wish YOU were here

                                                      When

                                                      I was counting one minute more

                                                      had wings and could not soar

                                                      craved to say a bit more

                                                      I wish YOU were here

                                                      I wish YOU were here..!!!

YOU 'N' me..!!!

                            

                                A cloudy evening
                                those mild drizzles
                                only YOU 'N' me
                                closer but still apart
                                shadows were moving
                                along the broadening path
                                just leading nowhere
                                in between the
                                symphony of silence
                                I was getting hypnotized
                                for an exotic presence
                                beside me
                                It was none
                                other than YOU 'N' me...
                                your eyes towards an end
                                and poor me,
                                yet weaving the webs of beginning
                                you put in numerous questions
                                but I was supposed for none
                                cause some questions are
                                never been answered
                                you tried to make me awake
                                but I could not realize yet
                                how fragile these dreams are
                                with the opening of eyes
                                everything remains an illusion
                                so what........
                                I do it again and again
                                they say this
                                world is so vast
                                have faith..
                                but I felt nothing 
                                more than YOU 'N' me...
                                now my pen has begun defying me
                                ink has begun fading
                                all it needs is..
                                YOU 'N' me..!!!

should I call it 'CHANGE'...

Sometimes we are full of thoughts still feel out of words,something like that I'm facing right now.So I just thought why shouldn't I try to share this kind of state of mind.
Nowadays lot of things have been taken a new shape around me like, the kind of solitude I felt inside of me now it has been started exposing off and at least I'm aware of it.
So the thing is what I want to ask myself , is this what I should call CHANGE...
If it is so then it's perfectly all right.Because someone has said---
"The only thing that remains constant in life is,change".
It might be a issue for me just because this is the very first time in my life when some happenings have influenced me so comprehensively.Apart from this fact one thing what I conceived ever that some things  in our life never change rather transform into some other form according to the circumstances.What are these things better if you people think about it.
 I firmly believe that life is process of transformations,not changes,
I'm not saying all these because I want to complain or something like that,I'm just trying to throw some light on a dark phase of my life.


One has to move further in one's lives keeping the past aside  because success demands your present and it is not concerned for your past.But it is also true that nostalgia is the thing that everyone can not carry it on.It's a bit painful but the people who possesses this virtue doesn't feel pain rather relishes it.
 I have transformed  myself from a typical introversion into ambiversion  kind  of.But still I find the real myself inside of me somewhere and I would say definitely it is not going to escape from me ever if it happens then I would say it is a change.
what I think that changes separate and transformations connect..
I am not imposing my thoughts to you people rather all your criticisms are heartedly  welcome.
This discussion will be continued...

WHEN I SAW A SMILE.........crying..!!!

                                                              Tears were frozen,
                                                         
                                         so what..?? if it was hell or heaven,
                                
                                             all my senses started flying,
                                            when I saw a smile... CRYING.
                                                  

                                                    I was amazed,
                                         
                                          all the imaginations were caged,
                                                
                                           my hopes were brutally dying, 
                                           when I saw a smile...CRYING..


                                         a killing silence was all around,


                                             time was the only healer 
                                                   for this wound,


                                       my dreamy castles were destroying,
                                        when I saw a smile... CRYING...


                                                    I was in a trance,

                                              only shattered images were 
                                                      at my glance,

                                           every emotion was classifying,
                                           when I saw a smile...CRYING....      


                                           The roads were getting tougher,


                                                    I was there only
                                                      one to suffer,


                                           whole world instructed me
                                              but,I kept on defying,
                                         when I saw a smile...CRYING.....